Saturday, August 29, 2009

i´m back to lisbon now, after a short holidays period in menorca, a beautiful small island in the mediterranean sea.
it's the first time i do this alone, i mean to travel for 10 days by myself, choosing where to go, how etc all by myself. i didn't like the idea very much but then again i didn't want to spend the whole summer in lisbon and i didn't have anyone to travel i left...and it's been a very interesting experience. definitely i recommend it.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Recently, I have been thinking alot about smoking. Believe me, I have went through almost all Quitting sites on the internet. I am sure many smokers can identify with me. And it seems to me that no one on earth has yet to come out with an innovative solution to quitting. All sites and help give similar advice.

1. Set a quitting date
2. List down all the pros and cons about smoking
3. Adopt a gradual cutting down approach or quit cold turkey
4. Success to becoming a non-smoker

I wish it is simple as it seems. Perhaps it works for some, but not for stubborn people, like myself. So, I started a quest on my personal attempt to quit smoking. I reckon that it will be good to revisit my entire history with this packet of cigarettes lying in front of me. How did it started?

It was one evening when i was starring out of my bedroom's window, I have forgotten what I was thinking about then. It was 25 years ago. I was looking at the cows and trees. A river runs through the greenery. There were some trucks on the highway. From far, I saw a truck approaching. That would have been a common sight, except this particular truck, on this particular evening seemed to have gotten into some trouble. It must have been traveling at extremely high speed when a small little calf accidentally roamed onto this man-made, artificial freeway. I could imagine the expression on both the calf's and truck driver's faces, eyes popping out with wide open mouth, startled, maybe with a scream let out. The truck moved with great velocity from left to right, right to left, in the pattern of a S. It finally and successfully missed the calf, but charged its way into this old oak tree. The next scene to follow was hilarious. The calf calmly made its way back to the greens and the truck driver emerged from his truck with both hands on his forehead. Few seconds passed, he reached for the back pocket of his jeans, took out a pack of Marlboro Red. He seemed relieved with his first puff after this tragic accident. I mean it was tragical for the truck. Quickly, I saw him gaining back his composure with the stick in his mouth. He went past the freeway onto the greenway, just to check if the calf was unhurt. That moment was unforgettable and cinematographic. With that moment, I felt in love with smoking. I watched him from a far, I couldn't make out the details of his features, but I remembered clearly that he was wearing a red shirt and blue jeans, with a cowboy hat.

I went to my father's room, stole a stick from him, and i was officially a self-made smoker then. Upon reflection, I don't think it was the truck driver's fault to make me a smoker, nor was I so mesmerized by his action or him. Up till today, I am still puzzled about how this event has led me to smoking.

Anyway, back to now, I think I am going to try various way to quit smoking. One immediate idea is to indulge in other pleasure such as spas and massages. I think massages and spas are another form of indulgence for the body, it should release some tension and give some pleasure. And perhaps, with the aroma oils, it will heighten my will to quit smoking. Basically, I am trying to find a distraction to my desire to smoke. Let's see if this helps.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My First Blog

On my 17th Birthday, I decided to paint my nails red. That was 20 years ago and ever since then, I have been wearing red nails everyday. Sometimes, I try different shades of red.. cherry red, hot red, blood red, dark red, chocolate red...

As to the reason for my decision on my 17th birthday, it was purely made out of an impulsive desire to curb my obsessive eating of Mac Donald's Cheese Burger. I figured that with these red nails, whenever I am tempted to raise a cheeseburger towards my mouth, the beautiful red nails will catch my eyes first before the cheeseburger catches my mouth. Then perhaps, it will distract me from the burger, and eventually, I will be freed from this burger obsession.

Have I succeeded? Yes. I have never touched another Mac Donald Burger since... although i still eat cheese, beef steak, ketchup, buns... but not from Mac Donald, and not in that configuration.

Now, back to my first blog on the internet....I have never ever thought that i will do this in my life time. I am basically a private person. I was recently retrenched from my work /thanks to the recession/. As a result, I began exploring the internet for job options, facebooking to find contacts, looking at blogs, Ad Sense, Googles, You tube... all ways to find a route to survival.

I have to confess that it makes me 100% curious that people are able to earn a living just by being on the computer. But to be honest, that wasn't the reason why i decide to write my blog. Of course, i do hope someday, I will be able to make a success, like those people I've read about. BUT!!! I've come to realise that this is a place where I can really confess, bare it all, tell it all, to share, to be attacked.... but i am still safe. As i mentioned, I am private, so you have to understand that it is a relief to be able to express and pour out much of my personal desire to speak.

I think in this world, a potential problem is people are talking too much, but listening and sensing much less. Maybe I am on the other extreme, talking too little, and this can make living quite difficult. Hence, I decide to blog.

Thanks for reading this.. I will be back for more. For now, I leave you a photo of my introduction, my red nails.